Top Movie Explosions

Everyone loves a good non-sensical explosion in a movie. So here is my list, in no particular order, of some of the best explosion scenes or sequences in movies.

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones- The astroid field chase sequence. It was a toss up between this and the Death Star explosion from the original trilogy but this won out. Those crazy sonic boom blast bomb thingos were just too insane or seismic charges as Obi Wan calls them. Probably one of the best sounds and build ups ever, the silence after it first explodes and then DAAAAAA as it crushes asteroids, your subs will love it.









Swordfish- The opening scene where the first hostagebomb goes off in glorious slow motion. It captures the explosions from every possible angle and the slow motion touch causes the awesomeness to be extended for even longer. Coupled with the sound of the ball bearings whooshing through the air and just downright obileterating people it's pretty insane.








Independence Day- The White House being blown up, nuff said really. You know an alien race means business when they completley annihilate one of the worlds seats of power without any problems.











U571- World War II film about submarines, the depth charge seen is intense. The creeking of the sub and the waiting as the crew know they've been spotted. The scene has great pacing as at first just one depth charge goes off, far away and then the pace starts to quicken as they get closer and then nothing. Really good stuff here.








Transformers- It has to get a mention here as Michael Bay is the godfather of explosions. I've gone for the opening scene of the first one where Blackout, the transforming Blackhawk helicopter, first transformers and just starts owning everything in sight with his crazy ass blue pulse weapon thingo. It was our first glimpse of a live action transformer and it certainly didn't disappoint.







The Dark Knight- They blew up a freaking hospital!!! How awesome yet kind of supervillain cringe worthy is that!! The scene just looks amazing, shot using those supercool IMAX cameras it certainly utilises their full capabilities and the lil bit of comedy before it blows up where the Joker's detonator won't work just makes it such a memorable scene. Also did you know they actually blew up a hospital for this? Spewing if you heard someone say "Oh man, I left the lense cap on."










Some other movies to check out are the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, V for Vendetta specifically the finally explosion of the Parliament building, pretty much any Michael Bay film, the 4th Indiana Jones film when the nuclear bomb test goes off, War of the Worlds, Watchmen when Dr Manhattan makes people explode disgustingly awesome.

The Man of Many Faces

You may know him as Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Sweeney Todd, Captain Jack Sparrow or the soon to be Mad Hatter but in real life he is Johnny Depp and he is probably the most versatile actor the modern screen has seen, the King of Weird. He truly knows what it means to get under the skin of his character I mean any actor or actress can put on some make-up and look completley different but when Depp puts on that make up he truly becomes and you truly believe that he is that person, which is usually some eccentric oddball character whom we may not normally accept as a leading man. His remarkable acting ability lets him take such an eccentric character and make him likeable, even desirable when others probably couldn't. It's almost freakish to sit there and watch him portray someone like Willy Wonka and completley turn the character on its head from what you remember as a kid. He's probably most famously ruled the screen with his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean and I'd dare say it was his captivating performance which held the series together and helped garner it's huge financial success, whilst making one or two woman pine for their very own swashbuckling captain along the way. His role in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland looks set to be no different given the first character shots we've been given. On first glance he looks almost unrecognisable as The Mad Hatter and certainly represents a different verison to any we've seen before.










He almost looks ghoulish or evil with his makeshift outfit and extreme white makeup coupled with the pink lips. I'd be interested to know how much influence Depp has had on this appearance as he often champions certain aspects he feels his character needs. As Ichabod Crane in Sleepy Hollow he thought a prosphetic nose was necessary for an authentic portrayal but was denied by director Tim Burton whilst in Pirates of the Carribean he organised for several of his teeth to be gold capped to build an authentic pirate image but was later asked to remove most of them. We'll be seeing plenty more of Depp in the future as he is also scheduled to play Tonto in the Lone Ranger movie, reprise his role of Jack Sparrow in a rumoured 4th Pirates movie, have a role in the 3rd Sin City film and star in the adaptation of Dark horse comic Rex Mundi amongst other things whilst he has stated that he wants to work with Christain Bale again fuelling rumours he'll be cast as The Riddler in the 3rd Batman film. All these characters are sure to be eccentric and out there presentations due to Depp's nature and style and we look forward to seeing them all.

DC Movie Wrap Up

You would think with the success of DC Comics Batman movies, most recently The Dark Knight and the growing market for comic book films DC would have a ton of their characters and stories ready to go on the big screen. Unfortunately this isn't the case. At the moment DC only has four projects listed as being in production, two of them existing mainstays of the film industry, Batman and Superman.


One of the two other projects DC has in the works is the Western Jonah Hex. Unlike the other films Jonah Hex is actually shooting as we speak with Josh Brolin, familiar to the Western genre with his part in No Country for Old men, playing the titular character Jonah Hex a disfigured bounty hunter in 19th century America who is hired by the Union to stop Quentin Turnbull, played by John Malkovich, whoat this point is rumoured to be a voodoo practioner looking to wield an undead army against the Union and free the south. Filming is going on in New Orleans so it should have good locations and a gritty feel to it while the studio is already planning a sequel so hopefully they'll make this one good. Hex is described as surly and cynical, a character not unlike Clint Eastwood's Man with no Name. Megan Fox is also along for the ride as Hex's love interest Leila. Jimmy Hayward, who made his directorial debut with Horton Hears
a Who is helming this one. Hex is scheduled for release August 6 2010.












The other new character being given the film treatement by DC is the Green Lantern. Not much is known about this production yet as it is still in its pre-production phases. We do know that Martin Campbell, director of Bond films Casino Royale and Goldeneye is directing, that it is currently scheduled for release on the 17th of June 2011 and it has a reported budget of $150 million dollars so it's going to be pretty epic. Story wise they have chosen the Hal Jordan Green Lantern storyline. A Green Lantern is someone who possesses a ring which gives the wearer the power to do incredible things. There isn't just one Green Lantern but many all over the galaxy who are all apart of the Green Lantern Corps, basically an intergalactic police force. Hal Jordan is given a power ring by a dieing alien Abin Sur who crash lands on Earth and subsequently becomes a member of the Lantern Corps. Apparently we are going to be going intergalactic on this one, seeing the Lantern Corps and battling an intergalactic threat. No one has been cast as the Green Lantern yet but Chris Pine, Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek, Bradley Cooper, star of the recently released The Hangover and Brian Austin Green, Derek Reese from the recent Terminator TV show have all been rumoured. Expect a flurry of action around this one soon though as shooting is expected to start as early July.












I don't know what to make of these films as I'm not very familiar with the comic books. Jonah Hex sounds interesting with it's scarred bounty hunter lead, I mean bounty hunter's are cool and Josh Brolin and John Malkovich are excellent actors but the director seems a little inexperienced. I don't know hopefully it will surprise me, the set shots so far look pretty cool and intense. The Green Lantern is being helmed by a brilliant director in my opinion, Goldeneye and Casino Royale are close to my favourite Bond films. I think Bradley Cooper would make a great choice for the lead as he isn't a huge star yet but is primed to be and this could be the film to do it. It seems ambitious with it's massive budget and hopefully it creates a fun yet interesting story about the Lanterns and what they do. At least we'll all get to pretend we have power rings, BAM!!

As stated before in an earlier blog DC are obviously working on a third batman film after the massive success of The Dark Knight. So far we know Christain Bale is contracted to return as Batman and the writing team from the first two are currently working on a script but that's it. Chris Nolan, the director of the first two may not return whilst rumours hit overdrive about who will be the next villain after the success of the late Heath Ledger as The Joker. I think The Riddler is the right way to go but I'm not sure whether he has the ability to be the sole bad guy, he really needs to be teamed up with someone like The Penguin. I heard a story rumour where Edward Nigma, The Riddler, was a gifted private detective who was hired by the Gotham Police Department after Batman was accused of Dent's murder. Nigma is tasked with solving the crimes they can't solve and with finding Batman. Nigma becomes obessessed with trying to catch him and begins setting dangerous traps, like hostage situations and bombings for Batman, becoming the villain himself. Meanwhile Batman is forced underground where he faces the new breed of villain the Joker promised, mainly the new mob run by The Penguin. This won't be Burton's penguin, just a shrewd but very violent businessman who has taken over things. Batman both battles and uses The Penguin as he knows all the goings on in Gotham's underworld and Batman needs to know who is trying to get him. I just thought this was a cool story where we get to see a different type of madman and hopefully a different more dark Batman.

Finally DC are planning to reboot the Superman franchise, again. The Bryan Singer helmed Superman Returns which was released in 2006 didn't quite live up to the expectations the studios had. Singer was originally still going to come back for a sequel but after the success of The Incredible Hulk reboot and the much darker Dark Knight Warner Brother's and DC are contemplating a complete reboot of the series again. Apparently they still like Brandon Routh as Superman and are gunning for a 2011 release. They hope to find a truly worthy villian for Superman this time round, so something equally super powered whilst exploring any potential darkside Superman may have. I never saw Superman Returns, I'm just not a big Superman guy but I do recognise he is an icon and has great cinematic potential if he can be handled right. An interesting comment was made by Paul Levitz, president of DC Comics, who said that when Christopher Nolan can be signed on for another Batman film then serious work will be done on a Superman reboot and a string of other DC projects will be announced.









So there it is is, a brief look at what's on the radar from our good friends at DC Comics.

The Attempted Review of Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen


Oh my freaking god!!!! Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen would have to be the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Screw all the bullshit 'proper' film critics have been saying about it being too long and too loud and lacking in good acting from the 'real' cast, to me this film is just amazing. Obviously my taste in film is completely different to theirs and for that I am eternally grateful because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to enjoy this film as much as I did. The visual effects the film uses would have to be the best I've ever seen, the robots once again look fantastic and this time there's more variation in design as the line ups for both sides have been increased and battles are bigger and badder than the first . Maybe it's because I've grown up in the generation of Michael Bay epics and like minded films that it didn't seem long or loud or any of those criticisms and instead it was funny, visually stunning and pure enjoyment from start to finish.

Story... After defeating Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and destroying the All-Spark Optimus Prime, leader of a race of transforming robots called the Autobots, and his comrades form an alliance with the US Government to seek out and destroy the remaining Decepticons, sworn enemies of the Autobots. It turns out the Decepticons are looking for something which will help them and The Fallen, the original intergalactic bad ass, take thier revenge on the Earth and the Autobots once and for all. It is up to Optimus and Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBouef), the guy who first discovered the Autobots, to stop the Decepticons and The Fallen and save the Earth. ( I don't really want to go in to too much more detail because I don't want to ruin it, plus story really comes in second place to the amazing spectacle of destruction and devastation that happens on screen)

What it Did Well... Obviously the action sequences and pretty much any scene with the Transformers are freaking awesome. It is just absolute mayhem on the screen and I loved it, if you analyse this film of course you will find flaws but that's not the point. The point is they're are giant fucking robots on the screen who are literally beating the shit out of each other and that's exactly what you've paid for. The time and effort that has obviously gone in to the visual presentation of this film is just awe inspiring. There's one scene where the Constructicons, construction themed Decepticons, unite with each other to create a super Transformer Devastator and it is just jaw droppingly amazing. The way it brutally combines itself it actually makes you believe that's the way it would happen if this was real, a lot of effort has been put in to the little details here. It certainly does epic well and it certainly does destruction well, welcome to Michael Bay's world.


What it Didn't...
The whole Sam and his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) I love you thing was a bit lame. Sam is going to college without his girlfriend and she wants him to say I love you but he can't, there's a few scenes where she keeps trying to get him to say it and they argue and then make up. It was just sappy and stupid and really I didn't want a freaking love story, I wanted giant robots blowing each other up and luckily the film had plenty of that to make me forget that little moment. Seriously though if you are coming to this film for serious drama then you might be in the wrong place, it's action all the way baby.

Memorable Moment... More like a memorable 30 minutes, the climax of the film where it's basically all out war between the alliance of the US military and the Autobots and the Decepticons is just insane. Sand has never looked better than when it's being thrown in the air from an explosion. There's a good deal of variation in the focus of the battle as so many things are going on and Bay attempts to adequately show each conflict before bringing it all to a conclusion. It's just so intense and exciting and I couldn't wait to see what Transformers would duke it out next.

So What Does it All Mean... Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen looks to be one of those films you'll either love or hate. So far most critics hate it but the box office will probably love it. Personally I think most critics are a bunch of douche bags, taking their opinions with a grain of salt which you may do with myn as I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you are interested in my opinion then it's this film kicks ass and takes names in the most visually amazing way I've ever seen and you know what Michael Bay doesn't care about reviews and either should you so just go out and see this film and judge for yourself. I loved it, every god damn minute of it, and will most certainly see it again and again and again. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen gets 9 big ass explosions out of 10.

Michael Bay Not Quitting

Oh thank god!!! Yesterday I reported some information from an article on IGN claiming that Michael Bay is looking to step down from the Transformers franchise. I and most other people were shocked at this announcement, Transformers is Michael Bay's project, the current ads running even say it's Michael Bay's Transformers. Luckily the man himself has spoken out in response to these articles and rumours and I am happy to post his clarifying statement. Bay posted last night on the Michael Bay dot com website, "Hah, Love press how they spin. Never said it - just wanted a vacation is more to the point. And no I don't read the good or the bad reviews" This is fantastic news!!! Transformers needs Michael Bay, it just means that we are going to have to wait longer to see the next installment which I'm happy to do as long as he's taking charge. We love you Michael Bay!!

Trailer Park Trash

Just a quick round up of some good trailers for films and games that are scheduled to be released in the near future. Sherlock Holmes is a timeless character who has gone through many iterations in both film and TV and he is getting the film treatment again in 2009 with Guy Ritchie directing and Robert Downey Jr. starring as the ingenious detective Sherlock Holmes and Jude Law playing his trusty sidekick Watson. The trailer was released quite a while ago but it is a very good trailer for what will hopefully be a very good movie so it deserves to be posted here.


Crackdown 2 is a Xbox 360 game i reported on during the hype of E3. Amidst all the excitement of the show I didn't even realise that there was a trailer available for the game. This is one of my most anticipated games after E3 because I just loved the first one so much and the idea of a sequel is definetley a good one to me. For those of you who don't know it's a third person open world action game and in the first one you played a cop cleaning up the streets.


District 9 is a movie from South African director Neill Blomkamp and producer Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame. Blomkamp originally made a short film called Alive in Joburg about a group of aliens who are forced to land on Earth and are treated like dirt forced to live in terrible slum conditions in South Africa. There arrival causes all sorts of political and social trouble and unrest. District 9 is the feature film adaptation of that short story, taking the established idea of Alive in Joburg and building on that with the inclusion of a government agent who is exposed to the alien technology.



Homefront is a first person shooter for 360, PC and PS3. This game really came out of no where at E3 with impressive visuals and scripted sequences. The game is being made by Kaos studios who made the impressive Frontlines Fuel of War and the story sees America collapsing from its perch as the worlds super power and North Korea invading the United States. You play as a member of the American resistance trying to get your country back. It should have an impressive story as they have recruited the writer of Apocalypse Now and Red Dawn John Milius.


Transformers isn't the only toy franchise that is getting the film treatment this year. G.I Joe The Rise of Cobra, based on the famous toy, comic and television series is getting it's own live action feature film. Directed by Stephen Sommers, The Mummy, it features such actors as Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans and Sienna Miller playing series favourites like Snake Eyes, Cobra Commander, Destro, The Baroness, Duke and Breaker. The film sees the military organisation G.I Joe take on a new super terrorist group lead by a notorious arms dealer.



Finally I'm revisiting another game I wrote about a few weeks back Operation Flashpoint 2: Dragon Rising. I was a little slack and didn't post any videos for it so to make up for it I'm going to post 2 videos, one of gameplay footage and one theatrical just because I'm that nice.



Batman 3, Potential Sequels and Michael Bay Quits

After the success of The Dark Knight you would think it would be impossible for there not to be a third film. It broke just about every box office record upon release generating a box office total that was just over US $1 billion and garnered a best supporting actor Oscar for Heath Ledger's mesmerizing and maniacal performance as The Joker. Rumours swelled after the films release as to what direction the next film would take with The Riddler being rumoured as the new villain and famous actors like Casey Affleck, Johnny Depp and Eddie Murphy attached to the role. Almost a year after the films release though we have no solid information on the third film. Director Christopher Nolan has said that he may not return for the third film, saying that Warner Brothers will have to come up with a very convincing story and deal to sway him. The director said he was rocked to the core by the death of Ledger and that is what is leading him to give away the Batman franchise. I have tremendous respect for him, the guilt he must be feeling knowing he cast him for the role and spent so much time with him and yet likee veryone else could not forsee his unfortunate and unexpected death. So whilst it would be terrible to lose Nolan as a director it's even more disturbing to hear that Christain Bale, probably the best Batman seen on film, is not a fan of Nolan leaving the project. In good news IGN recently spoke to David Goyer who is a writer for the Batman movies who said that they are discussing ideas for a third film and it has been reported that we will not be seeing Batman back on our screens until at elast 2012 or 2013, a real bummer. Obviously though with the extreme success of the The Dark Knight there will be so much pressure on the third film, regarding financial succes and the performance of the new villain so I'd rather them take their time.











In other sequel news Jurassic Park IV may not be dead in the water yet. In December of 2008 producer Kathleen Kennedy said that the prospects of doing another Jurassic Park were effectively ended after the unfortunate passing of author Michael Crichton. Many of us were disappointed as we were eagerly anticipating another foray in to the Jurassic world, working udner the title of Extinction but producer Frank Marshall has hinted recently that if they can get a good story together then their is a possibility of another film. The possibilities the Jurassic Park franchise creates are amazing, they are the best looking dinosaurs we have ever seen on film and everyone likes the idea of these creatures being brought back to life in our modern world. I hope these rumours start a buzz about a 4th film again but as we remember the 3rd film was not directed by Steven Spielberg and not directly based on a Crichton novel and it was a lesser film for those reasons. A real effort would have to be put in to this film to make it good.









When I heard they were making a new Indiana Jones I was filled with so much excitement. I grew up on the orginal three Indiana Jones movies and coupled with his performances in Star Wars as Harrison Ford he was pretty much my idol. Indiana Jones AND Han Solo, could one man be any more awesome??!! The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came and whilst I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was a financial success the critic and overall fan response was not that spectacular. We all thought that four would be enough for Indy and Harrison Ford, I mean he is 67 this year, and I personally cringed at the potential nod to Shia LeBouef taking over the franchise. Harrison Ford is what made this series and is the iconic Indiana Jones, it should end with him just like it started but Spielberg does not seem finsihed with Indy. Shia LaBouef told BBC News whilst promoting Transformers Revenge of the Fallen that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas have already formulated the basic story for Indy V and are beginning production. It remains to be seen whether Ford will return and whilst I'm scpetical of this project to begin with if Ford does not return as Dr Jones then they should give it a complete miss altogether, it's best some things go out on a high.














In terrible news regarding potential sequels Michael Bay, the godfather of explosions and generally epic films has left the Transformers franchise. He believes that after 3 and a half years straight working on the franchise he needs to get away from it as he has taken it as far as he can. He said he needs to do something without explosions which is just ridiculous, explosion is Michael Bay's middle name. Obviously Hasbro and Paramount will be wanting to exploit this franchise for more films and rightly so it is kick ass but how good will it be without Bay? I think someone like Spielberg, who was a producer on the film could take over seeing as he has worked on films like War of the Worlds or John Favreau the director of Iron Man but I really do think Bay is a massive loss to the series. He created these robots and their world has definetley become a Michael Bay one. Another director may want to explore the emotional side of these robots or develop the human characters into the star but Bay understood that the sole reason people see these films are for explosions, giant robots fighting each other and more explosions.

Impressions of the First Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Reviews


So the first reviews of Transformers Revenge of the Fallen are out after it's premiere in the UK. Rottentomatoes currently has 10 reviews collected with 6 being good and 4 being rotten giving the film a current score of 5.4 out of 10. Not the greatest of starts really. So far the overall consensus is that the film is too long and loud. One reviewer from screen daily dot com writes that "Performance-wise the machines do tend to upstage the humans." Of course they freaking do!!! That is the whole point of the movie!! It's about giant freaking transforming robots!!! If it was me I wouldn't even have any humans in it really, it'd be like the original TV show where apart from 1 or 2 people (the original Witwickies) humans were only ever seen running away in terror. If you are going to this film expecting to see quality, Oscar performances from LeBouef and Fox then you clearly are in the wrong theatre. I mean honestly what actor could hold an audiences attention when there is a car that can turn into a 30 foot robot next to him? Also I love how no one is prepared to sit through a long film anymore. Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds which premiered at Cannes was about 2 and a half hours and majority of critics complained about it saying it dragged along and was way too long and now Tarantino is trying to re-edit it for theatrical release. Similar criticism has been released about Revenge of the Fallen. It's a summer blockbuster!! They are supposed to be long and loud and not make sense. You are supposed to go there and be like my mind has been blown by how freaking awesome that just looked and that's it. It's pure escapism. I mean come on who honestly goes to these movies expecting an engaging storyline filled with moral dilemmas, political intrigue and serious drama...apart from reviewers ofcourse. These films are designed for the inner child in all of us, well mostly the inner boy in all of us, who sat around watching Looney Tunes cartoons were all they did was try to kill each other and we loved it. That is the pure glee and excitement these films are trying to give us and if you can realise that then you can enjoy these movies and not even notice how long it was or how loud it was. Those that were positive reviews seemed to reiterate this stance, saying that older people may not look it and that it is a film for the child in all of us and well for actual kids. Also saying that the specatacle is for everyone but the story may be more fan boy directed. Obviously seeing as I'm not a kick ass reviewer, yet, I haven't been able to go to an advanced screening of it but I will be seeing it on the 24th when it comes out and will be posting my own thoughts then. I can almost say with certainty that I will love it, any excuse to go and see giant transforming robots fighting each other is good enough for me and considering that there are more in this one and it's longer I'm already happy.

Epic and Odd 2010 Movies

Two movies I am getting more psyched for as the days go on are Clash of the Titans and Robin Hood. Over the last few days some photos have been released concerning both of these films and it's just making me want to see them even more.

Clash of the Titans sees Sam Worthington, of Terminator Salvation fame and receiver of much praise on this blog, star as Perseus in a remake of the 1981 film of the same name. Perseus is sent out to battle Medusa and the Kraken monster to save Princess Andromeda, Alexa Davalos who recently appeared in Defiance. Laim Neeson plays Zeus whilst Ralph Fiennes plays Hades two absolutely amazing casting choices that I cannot wait to see. This will hopefully be epic given its name and recently the first photos were relased online and tell me it doesn't look freaking awesome.








The other film, Robin Hood, sees Russel Crowe and Ridley Scott team up again in what will hopefully be a similar outing to their highly successful Gladiator film. Crowe plays the titular character and has managed to slim down remarkably after his roles in State of Play and Body of Lies and looks just as good as he did in Gladiator. Cate Blanchett plays Maid Marrian, The Incredible Hulk's 'Thunderbolt Ross' William Hurt plays William Marshall, one of the coolest actors at the moment Mark Strong who was in Body of Lies and Rock N Rolla plays Sir Godfrey whilst the lovable Little John is played by Kevid Durand who recently played The Blob in the Wolverine films. It is pretty much the standard tale of Robin Hood, he serves in the army of Richard the Lion and we he returns from battling the Normans he disgusted with corruption and greed evident in his home town and takes to arms to set things right. This version looks like it'll have more Robin's time in the arming judging by the new set picks. I'm just so stoaked for this film because it's Russel Crowe and Ridley Scott together again in a classic epic story, set to be action packed and hopefully it can capture some of the glory of Gladiator.











Newer photos of Crowe galloping in to battle can be found here. Both of these films are scheduled for release in 2010.

2010 seems to be a good year for films whilst also being an itneresting one. IMDB is reporting that a Devil May Cry film is in production and expected to be released in 2010. Will this be an adaptation of the highly successful and popular video game franchise? The star of that is Dante a part man part demon who hunts demons. The recent anime was extremley cool but I don't know if I want to see a film version of this. It'd be like Dragonball Z or Death Note, it just wouldn't be the same. Also an even more bizarre listing is an Earthworm Jim film. The story of an average earthworm who finds a spacesuit and is turned in to Earthworm Jim wisecracking cosmic adventurer. It has a director listed, Douglas TenNapel the creator of the video game so your lead to believe it's legit. I think an Earthworm Jim film would be hilarious as an animated film but I wouldn't like it as a live action thing, it'd just be too weird.

Headed for the big screen?

The Attempted Review of Twilight


After months of trying to escape it I was finally forced to watch the latest teen girl sensation Twilight. The film adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's hit series of books was always going to be a success regardless of how good or bad the film was. The audience was always going to be there to see it and it was, the film was a smash hit raking in $382 million worldwide and the sequel is already in production. Personally though I hated it and this is why.

Story... Or lack thereof. A good film adaptation of a book or comic or anything will allow the viewer to understand the story and generally what the hell is going on even if they haven't read the book. After all these movies are expensive to make so they want to reach the most amount of people. Well I had no freaking idea what the hell was going on in Twilight. It mostly revolves around some ridiculously pale girl Bella who lives in Phoenix, Arizona PHOENIX FREAKING ARIZONA!!! The sun never goes away EVER!! How the hell is she so pale!! Maybe it's so she doesn't look out of place with the weird looking vampires she's going to want to sex? Anyway she moves away from Phoenix to live with her dad in small town Forks, Washington possibly the dreariest looking small town in America. Gloom seems to surround this small town most of the town. Anyway she goes to the local school and gets bombarded by this ridiculous group of people whose sole job is to inform her of the 'Cullens' the local weirdos who also happen to be the hotties, and the Vampires. From here on in it's a Mormon love story, filled with so much teenage angst it's not funny and reminded me of the Harry Potter Puppet Pals Wizard Angst spoof. Bella for some reason is the most amazing smelling piece of meat vampire Edward Cullen has ever smelt. Now normally the vampire would then EAT HER!!! But no he's a vampire vegetarian who only eats animals, how nice of him. So he gets all angsty and conflicted, Bella gets an orgasm face anytime the word boy is mentioned and they decide to date each other. She meets the rest of the ragtag vampire family who also want to eat her and becomes the focus of obsession for a rival vampire, a supposedly ruthless tracker James. That's about as much as I can be bothered telling you about the story, I only understood that much because I had someone who has seen the film a million times and read all the books explaining everything. The story just doesn't make any sense if you haven't read the books you can't grasp that these are a different form of vampire than you are use to because nothing explains that. Half the dialogue is about dieing and eating and can be down right depressing. Probably why it's so popular with the teenage girls of today, everyone loves a moody, conflicted love story about death right?

What it did Well... The town was gloomy but looked really good, your typical small town America setting. The forest they so often run in too was beautiful whilst the Cullens dressed really well and had an amazingly cool house. This is one of the mainstay vampire traits Meyer seems to embrace, Vampires are always wealthy, glamorous and well posh and snobby. Also Bella's dad was probably my favourite character because he was BELIEVABLE!! He acted like a dad who hadn't spent much time with his daughter and in my opinion some of the best scenes involved him, like when he's cleaning his guns and meets Edward for the first time "Bring him in" (cocks shotgun).

What it Didn't... Ok where do I start here. The Cullen family vampires looked ridiculous with their beyond pale skin, one of the guys looked like Edward Scissor Hands but didn't have the advantage of saying he was built by a mad scientist. Meyer just rips vampire lore to pieces, her vamps have no fangs but hiss when angered, no claws but maneuver their hands like they do and instead of dieing in sunlight they have diamond skin that jingles. What the hell!!! Diamond skin!!! I know the jingling wasn't in the book so why the hell add it in the film it was just weird. The special effects in this film were terrible. They reminded me of the 1994 Jim Carrey film The Mask except The Mask was actually good. Edward Cullen and the other vampires blur their way around the screen when ever they run or jump or break into girls houses so they can watch them sleep and 'Spider Monkey' Bella has to hang on for dear life. Spider Monkey, what the hell kind of nickname is that anyway? One lot of vampires seemed to glide and walk at the sametime. The fight scene actually wasn't too terrible but the baseball scene was ridiculous. Just why did they have to play baseball? I don't understand that scene at all. Hardwicke really disappointed me with her direction of this film. I loved Lords of Dogtown one of her prior films but in Twilight she really missed the mark. The camera angles, techniques and shots she chose in certain scenes were ridiculous. In one scene Edward and Bella are standing in a clearing, the camera pans round as they talk and instead of waiting a second longer for the pan to finish and end up infront of Bella there's a cut to infront of her, WHY!! In another scene shortly after the camera goes on a dutch tilt and takes in the scenery half way through a scene with Bella and Edward, it wasn't even angled at what they might be seeing it just seems to trail off and then forgets they are there as they appear tiny in the bottom corner. In another scene they are walking and talking and all of a sudden goes to a flashback of the day before, no reason why you and could only tell because of their clothes and then folds back into the present. I did not understand the reason for that flashback, the information given could have just as easily been relayed in the present scene. It was a flashback just for the sake of it. Probably my most hated scene though was when Edward was standing on some rocks and jumps literally a metre down in a display of his crazy blurred vampire awesomeness. Why did he do that? Why did they show that? It was like a five year old jumping from the curb to the road, random and stupid. He didn't need his vampire powers to do it, he could have done it normally but no he goes blurry vampire for it.

What it all Means... Obviously I'm not the target audience for this film at all. You seem to have to appreciate the books or the romance genre to get this film. The special effects and fight scenes seem thrown in their to make dragged along boyfriends feel ok about being there but the special effects are especially bad, a clear afterthought to the whole production. None of this matters though because the film was always going to be a success and clearly lots of 16 year old girls are going to be dieing to see the sequel. I give Twilight 4 sucks on a dead corpse out of 10.

Madness?? These... Are... Video Games!!!

Over the weekend a few interesting, almost mad stories have evolved in the video game universe. Firstly something that's not so mad but interesting to know, Halo 3:ODST is the next release from Bungie in to the Halo universe. Much has been made about the fact this game will not be as long as the originals and is more of an expansion pack to the original. Therefore people believe it's price should be decided accoridingly. Bungie originally said this was going to be a 3 to 5 hour game and would not be a $60 US retail title, it would be scaled down. Well Bungie was obviously telling porky pies or Halo 3: ODST has been vastly uprgraded since then because it has been made available for pre-order at the price of $59.99 US. Hopefully the game times been extended or they just think their multiplayer is that awesome that it's worth it. Hardcore fans can spend $100 and get the collectores edition which comes with a specialised remote. ODST drops on September 30 2009.










That story is not so much madness as it is a potential rip off. Although it is still a title that I'll probably buy regardless of the price and just hope it's a longer game experience. What I can definetley say is madness is the latest analyst prediction for Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. It is almost udneniable that this going to be one of the biggest games of the year and possibly all time. Such was the success of the first title, it sold 12 million copies after just 17 months, that one analyst is predicting Modern Warfare 2 could sell 11.1 million copies in 2 months!! 2 MONTHS!! That isn't just madness that is insane but it doesn't stop there. They are also predicting that the potential market for Modern Warfare 2 is 25.7 million gamers. Just think about that number for a second, 25.7 million gamers. That is more people than the population of Australia!!! Now that is just madness but probably the best kind. Just think of the online potential in those first few months, it'll be huge and a challenge for Activision to keep things running smoothly. Modern Warfare 2 faces the analysts on November 10 2009.








The final and most ambitious piece of news I have for you is the huge rumour of a new Xbox console being released as early as Autumn in the US NEXT YEAR!! 1Up is reporting a new Xbox console could be released in 2010!! 2010!! This is supposedly going to tie in with the release of Project Natal, the new no controller gaming technology Microsoft is developing. Everyone is expecting Natal's launch to be big with Microsoft's spokespeople saying it will be like a console launch complete with launch titles but a new gaming system? So far the rumours are flying that it will be a development similar to Nintendo's Gamecube and the Wii, only minor technical changes (so no huge graphical leaps like Xbox to 360) but it will be focused more around Natal and its capabilities. Those more conservative analysts and well me too hope this is mere speculation and that Microsoft will instead just release a new package like the Arcade and Pro which come with the Natal software. Seriously a new system? It seems like I'm only just getting to know my 360 and same with the developers and well I don't wanna have to shell out hundreds of dollars for Natal AND a new console.








So as you can see it's been a pretty eventful weekend in the video game industry whilst it has also been an interesting weekend personally with the acquisition of Red Faction Guerilla complete with bonus Handbook so expect a review soon.

Marvel Movie Wrap Up

Without a Marvel film being released this year all we can do is sit around and wait for the next batch of casting rumours or set pictures to emerge. Marvel currently have Iron Man 2, Thor, The First Avenger: Captain America and The Avengers in the pipeline with a rumoured Hulk sequel, Nick Fury film and countless other projects in line for production. A few weeks ago now we got our first pics of Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man in the second film. You can see him just chilling on a wall and hanging in the war room with his suits in the background.












It was also revealed this week the first shot of Mickey Rourke as the films bad guy Whiplash. Unfortunately you'll have to go to the Marvel website to see this shot as I can't find one to post yet. All I can say is so far he looks a lot cooler and a lot less Gimp than the comicbook version did. So far no shots of other newcomers Scarlett Johansson as super spy Black Widow, Sam Rockwell as rival business Justin Hammer or Don Cheadle as Rhodey/ hopefully War Machine.










Also in Marvel film news Thor, the Norse god of Thunder who kicks some ass with a giant hammer, has also been given the film treatement and the two main characters, Thor, and villain Loki have been cast. Aussie Chris Hemsworth who plays Kirk's dad in the new Star Trek film gets the role of Thor whilst British actor Tom Hiddleston has been cast as Loki. To wider audiences these two guys are relative unknowns and I think that is a good choice by Marvel. Thor and Loki are gods who have a certain way of speaking and overall manner and I think it's easier to see someone you aren't familiar with acting that way than a known actor like Josh Hartnett or Brad Pitt who were rumoured at one time.











The First Avenger: Captain America is a long way off at 2011 but it does have a director attached to it. Joe Johnston who directed Jumanji, Jurassic Park 3, Hidalgo and the to be released The Wolf Man has been given the reins of this film. No casting confirmed yet but the rumour mill is into overdrive. The film needs a Cap but someone who can be scrawny and then buffed up after recieving the super soldier serum and will more than likely include a Bucky his gun totting sidekick who is probably one of the least annoying and best sidekicks in comics. Leonardo DiCaprio, Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt have all been rumoured as Cap whilst wrestler come actor John Cena has been thrown in to the mix. Cena I think is too big to begin with, Cap is tiny originally then bulks up after super soldier serum. Once again they should go for an unknown here, Captain America is such an icon and was such an unknown before he got the super soldier serum that the person who plays him needs to be similar. Samuel L Jackson will probably make an appearance as Nick Fury after signing his 9 picture deal. An actor like the star of Torchwood John Barrowman could be a good choice for Captain America as he has the acting ability but not yet the expected star attached to it. He also looks like he can slim down and bulk up well.












As yet we have no real good rumours about Marvel's most ambitious project, The Avengers. The Avengers are a team of superheroes brought together when Earth is in dire straits and one hero is not enough. The Avengers roster is so diverse that just pinning down who will be on it will be hard enough. Logic would have you believe Iron Man, possibly War Machine, Thor and Captain America will be apart of it and originally super heros like The Wasp, Ant Man and The Hulk were part of it. The way the Hulk ends makes you believe that the Avengers may be teamed together to take down the Hulk. Probably most pressing for Marvel is deciding on who will direct the film and how to give all their stars equal time. Hulk, Iron Man, Thor and Cap are all being directed by different people giving each film a different feel so teaming those guys up may not result in the same Iron Man in the Avengers we are use to. Certainly an ambitious project indeed.