Why Oh Why Movie News

Posted by WhenYourGodGivesYouLemons On 2:17 PM

You know how sometimes you can sit around with your friends and talk about a new movie that comes out and then you start to think of similar movies they should make which they haven't yet. Half the time you don't ever expect these movies to get made because they are just too outlandish and ridiculous to work but you usually have good fun thinking about them. Well clearly someone has been taking notes whilst you've been sitting around chilling with your friends because some truly bizarre movies have been announced this week. Firstly we've got a movie based on, drum roll please, the View-Master a childrens toy first released in 1939. What the hell?? Apparently the guys behind Transformers and Star Trek, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, are attached to this film and it's going to be like The Goonies and other 80's kids adventure films but seriously what the hell?? It's a little viewer thing that shows pictures, how can you make a movie out of that? Will the kids buy one with special viewing discs that have the plans to some secret military operation on them? I can't even begin to think of how this film will pan out except for replaying The Goonies in my head and Data having a View-Master amongst his bag of tricks.

Secondly we've got a Baywatch movie set to be directed by Jeremy Garelick. Apparently he wants to make a real comedy out of the series with the rumoured storyline focusing around two unlikely lifeguards, think Seth Rogen and Zach Galifianakis, who struggle to fit in around the other buff as all hell lifeguards. I think this film's success will depend on who they cast as the two main lifeguards, if they went with Rogen and Galifianakis it would definetley have potential as they are both so naturally funny but for me there are major question marks over this production. Will it just seem like an extended episode? Will it have all the slow mo shots of top heavy women running across the beach? Will it have the Hoff??? So many questions.

Next we've got another video game trying to make the transition onto the big screen. This time though it's not the next big thing with all the best graphics and story writers, instead it's the classic Atari game from 1979 Asteroids. Now this was a great game, it was a triangle on a screen that blows the crap out of giant rocks, instant classic. Unfortunately though it was a bit light on story, it was a triangle on a screen that blew the crap out of giant rocks. How exactly they are going to develop a story to make this into a 90 minute movie is beyond me. It could be something similar to Deep Impact and Armageddon but like in a futuristic setting, Earth sends off a crazy cool space ship to blast away the hordes of asteroids ready to pummel the planet. It already has a director, Matt Lopez, who has a very child friendly resume directing Bedtime Stories and Race to Witch Mountain.

Lastly IGN reported that Blade is going to get a prequel trilogy...without starring Blade. Apparently director Stephen Norrington has told fans that he is currently working on a prequel which will revolve around super vampire Deacon Frost from the first film. Now what's weird about this is if Frost was such a cool, well recieved character their would have been a big push for him to get his own film or as it appears films straight after Blade was first released. Why after so many years would you want to go back and give him a spin off? Also apparently Frost isn't a big part of the Blade universe so trying to flesh out a whole trilogy based just on him and as it appears so far not Blade could be hard. Snipes largely made this series with his performances as Blade so if they take him out altogether they could lose a lot of fans and recognition.

So there you have it, a whole host of movies which I can't understand why they are being turned into movies but obviously some of the Hollywood big wigs see more potential in them than I do. I eagerly await more news about them.

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